Eventually, what I'm running from will catch me.

The Mona Lisa

Sadness is not something to be feared.
So many people confuse this with other things
like anger or fear.
They try to hide it,
to ignore it or worse,
to deny it.
But I think that when you can face it,
when you can sit in it and explore all of its complexities,
its shapes, colours, and oddicies,
It can really change you, creatively.
Something unique comes out of sadness,
something uniquely personal
And with that perspective changes
for me, its always for the better.
The mind settles
and happiness blooms.
not joy, but simple happiness.
life luminated by a soft white light.
like dawn.
or rain or fresh snow.
Sadness is a cleansing of the Soul
and the Soul is a resevoir for creativity.

Don't Drink the Salt Water.

My mind wanders farther than I dare follow.
my thoughts are scrambled, and
fade without conclusion.

i am restless
because i cannot understand the reasons
that hide behind this mess.

day old love,
gone dry and stale
gone yet always lingering, consistant as
wind blowing against salt stained sails.

i am suffocating
between pillows and threadcounts.

all the while, praying for a bottle
to come up to the shore with the waves.

Point and Shoot

moments of my life flicker
from behind a blue screen.
each and every moment
precisely documented,
despite the growing fogginess of memory.

what stories are told, from behind a lens
what is not said,
but can be seen.
what is not seen,
but can be felt.
what has been left behind
and what stays with us
as infinity runs its course.

The Early Walk

going back to what we do best
your smell lingers on my breath.
your old shirt and a long walk home,
messy hair and last nights clothes.
foggy mist across a bridge
earthy smell and dewy skin
dead end roads and dead end ties
only to be left behind
dampened blonde and damaged spirits
false closeness and naive meekness.

your touch is an addiction.
your hand to hold is simply fiction.

I Don't Even Know What I Was Running For- I Guess I Just Felt Like It.

So after 12 weeks of being off school I have put together a list of long term and short term goals I need to accomplish to maintain my sanity.

1. I'm going to join a gym and force myself to go three times a week.
2. I'm going to get a haircut soontimes.
3. I am going to take my SAT over the summer after some prep and apply to UCLA and
Stanford
4. I'm applying to UPEI, Dalhousie, and UBC
5. I'm going to ace this online course.

*note to self you need to go to martins and get chiodo and malone to do a reference for you...

6. I'm going to get a job at the hospital.
7. Once the snow melts im going to start up jogging again... because I bought a legit pair of nike
runners which I used a total of three times for jogging since i bought them in septemeber..
poor shoes.
8. I'm going to FULLY clean all the crap out of my room.
9. I will fully finish the first two seasons of laguna..

*note to self when you go to work today ask lisa to write you up a reference and take off the 16th

10. I will learn how to play the piano this summer
11. I will learn to play the old saxaphone thats been sitting in my room for 5 years.
12. i will stop going on facebook so much

and lucky 13: im going to stop being such a pushover because its preventing me from getting my own shit done.

On A Side Note...

All because of you

I believe in angels.

Not the kind with wings,

no, not the kind with halos;

the kind that bring you home

when Love becomes a strange place.

I'll follow your voice;

all you have to do is

shout it out!